Allegations Regarding Me

Most of the allegations against me personally were made during our Hong Kong divorce proceedings. It’s important to understand how we got there in the first place.

Our marriage had been in a very bad state since our honeymoon in 2001 and for most of our marriage, and became irretrievably broken down soon after moving to Hangzhou in December 2012.

Throughout our marriage, most of the major arguments were money-related. GF demanded a lifestyle which was simply beyond my means, and even when I made a lot of money, it still would not be enough, as GF’s appetite and demands simply increased even more. What made things much worse was her ongoing dishonest and unauthorized spendings (eg. via stealing my credit card info for online spending, maxing out all my cards, secretly logging into my Paypal account, etc.) since nearly the beginning of our marriage, which, accompanied by lies, denials and blame-shifting, destroyed any remaining shreds of trust between us. I detail a lot of this in my 2018 Affirmation in Reply (paragraphs 42-52).

After moving to Hangzhou, FW’s education also became a highly contentious point, and was what started the beginning of the end of our marriage.

All those years, I had stayed primarily for the sake of FW, but by early 2014 things got so bad that I firmly believed that divorce would cause less damage to FW’s mental health than if we continued to be together. Being together meant FW had to not only continually witness our arguments and violent episodes, but also be forced to get involved. No amount of pleading and reasoning could persuade GF to not argue in front of FW and get her involved.

We started living separately (sleeping in separate rooms and going about with our own lives) from the early 2014 onwards. During those years, apart from work, my life basically revolved around FW – I was very involved with her Chinese school, and especially with her extracurricular activities, such music performances/song composition, teaching her computer skills so she could write, illustrate and even animate her story ideas, etc. etc. I was so involved that I was even one of four parents (the only father) awarded as “Outstanding Parent” by the FW’s head teacher (see the head teacher’s letter concerning my involvement with FW). See also FW’s Youtube channel where I posted videos of her various performances, some of which also included me.

Things were actually working well until July/August 2016 when GF decided to start really getting involved with FW’s life, soon after which my relationship with FW started to suffer. I was increasingly prevented from seeing FW, which in turn made the brainwashing even more effective. FW’s life was also completely upended, as conflicts with other people also started occurring or got magnified. She was soon pulled from her rock band, then pulled out from school, and also estranged from her best friend at that time who she would see every weekend. My mother (FW’s grandmother) who had come for a visit out of concern also became a villain in her eyes, and shortly after, FW also lost contact with her BFF cousin in Malaysia, who was probably the person she was closest to and who she would be chatting with on a nearly daily basis over Skype before that.

FW’s world started to become a black and white world, one that was filled with conspiracy, cynicism and hate, and one in which there was only one person who could adequately protect her from it – her mother, of course.

FW had been my everything, especially during the years after moving to Hangzhou, and it’s still hard for me to imagine others having a closer father-daughter bond than what we had. I was therefore completely devastated to see that a relationship that was so loving and (I thought) so strong could be torn apart so quickly, and made to turn the other way. Only a year later did I realize that this is something that even had a clinical name to it – “Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)”, and FW was a victim of PAS, according to the Child Psychologist Report mentioned before.

Although that report vindicates me in many respects, it doesn’t change the fact that that period was, and I believe will forever be, the darkest and most difficult period of my entire life, by far. Words cannot express how depressed I was, to the point that I was having suicidal thoughts.

In any case, after being completely prevented from seeing FW from April 2017 onwards, the only choice left for me was to file for divorce and try to obtain custody, with the expectation that I would at least get court-mandated visitation rights. I initially filed for divorce in June 2016 in Hangzhou, but after the court turned it down in August 2017 claiming lack of jurisdiction, I was left with no alternative but to file for divorce in Hong Kong, which I did in the following month of September 2017.

Immediately at the first hearing, I asked the Judge to grant me interim access to be able to see FW, and followed with a formal summons in December 2017. The affirmation I made describes what happened from the time when GF first started getting involved until then. It talks about:

• How I was effectively made to pay extortion money of 15,000 yuan a month between December 2016 and March 2017 in order just to see FW every Saturday for a few hours;


• How, upon managing to see FW again, we started to rebuild our relationship, but GF became increasingly abusive to not only FW, but also to her own mother (GFM), and how I tried to protect them by asking that GF re-sign the agreement with provisions to protect both FW and GFM.


• How GF then stopped letting me see FW completely and started to sue me.

(Please see my original Summons and Affirmation in support for details.)

That was when GF dropped her bombshell in her counter affirmation. In trying to continue to prevent me from seeing FW, she claimed that I had been physically and sexually assaulting her. Note how detailed the allegations are, especially regarding how I supposedly molested FW and also strangled her (see paragraphs 39-45)!

Apart from that, GF also made many other claims, eg. how I supposedly abandoned them shortly after we went to Hangzhou in 2013, how I moved out against their wishes in 2016, etc.

(Please see her Affirmation in Opposition for details.)

There was so much BS there that I had to reply with an extremely long 2018 Affirmation in Reply, in which I also included a ton of evidence to back up what I was saying.

A lot of these have been covered in my 2018 Affirmation in Reply, so for a lot of these allegations, I shall just give a brief summary answer and point to that Affirmation for more details (including evidence).

Completely the opposite.

Every single household and FW-related expense (eg. rent, groceries, maid salary, FW’s school tuition, etc.) was paid for by me.

Even though GF was working and earned much more than I did, I still gave her an allowance and bought a car for her use (even filled up petrol for her), not to mention lending her money countless times because she would always spend more than she earns.

If anyone should be complaining about not supporting the family, it should be me! GF NEVER contributed financially to the family in any of the really necessary and important ways, even though she started working soon after arriving in Hangzhou, and later on was even earning much more than me. Apart from taking FW on holiday to the US once a year (which I really appreciate), her “contributions” to the household can be summed up as buying superficial and over-priced things which no one really needed but only served to feed her vanity and ego, such as baby-crocodile skin dining chairs.

I go into detail regarding this point in paragraphs 40-52 of my Affirmation in Reply.

Again, utter rubbish.

First, my entry/exit stamps on my passports can prove I never left China for any extended period (apart from 3 weeks in 2015 because I could not get my China visa renewed due to a prior overstaying of the visa).

If GF is claiming that I was away from home and uncontactable, then show any correspondence between us (or any other corroborative evidence) to show that this was the case, eg. GF asking where I was or why have I still not returned.

The fact of the matter is that apart from work, my whole life basically revolved around FW and her upbringing. This was especially the so in 2014, 2015 and 2016 when FW was involved in many music-related competitions and performances. I have tons of photos and videos to prove this, but this will be obvious with even a simple glance at my Wechat Moments history.

It was GF who was hardly involved in FW’s life.

I detail this in paragraphs 53-67 of my Affirmation in Reply.

Again, completely the opposite.

This is an extension of the abandonment story that GF likes to peddle to gain sympathy.

It was GF who moved out with FW in early December 2016 to another flat GF had rented, and I rented a nearby flat and moved there about 2-3 weeks after GF still refused to let me stay by imposing all sorts of unreasonable conditions.

I go into detail regarding this point in in paragraphs 21-31 of my Affirmation in Reply. See also the full Skype conversation where the refusal to let me stay was discussed.

This is sort of true (if you discount the fact that I paid for FW’s first two years of international school tuition (2016-2018)), and probably the only thing that really resembles the truth in all her allegations.

The real question, is “why”?

I detail this in paragraphs 100-114 of my Affirmation in Reply.

Imagine this: Someone kidnaps your child, leaving you with no means to see her and communicate with her, let alone help raise her. On top of that, over that time, the child is taught to believe in lies and hate you. Then after a while more, the kidnapper complains that since she’s the one bearing all the costs in raising your child, you should pay your share too.

Would you? Should you? How is this different from ransom money?

At first, I actually DID do that, and did pay that ransom money, in exchange for certain guarantees from the kidnapper, eg. guaranteeing that I get to see FW once a week every Sunday.

The good thing was, signing the “Child Support Agreement” and paying the ransom money (15,000 yuan a month) actually did help me rebuild my relationship with FW between December 2016 and March 2017. Unfortunately, the conflict between GF and FW, as well as between GF and her mother (GFM) came to an all-time high, such that both FW would often call me to save her, and GFM was also getting physically assaulted (to say the least).

As GF had seriously violated the terms of the agreement (eg. continuing to speak ill of me, which GFM confirmed) and once even said she didn’t want FW anymore and I would look after her, I formally terminated the ransom agreement and told GF that if she wanted me to continue paying, we needed to sign a new agreement, which would be the same as the previous agreement, except I added two new clauses – one for the protection of FW, and another for the protection of GFM. Look at the clauses for yourself and tell me if any decent person would have refused to comply with the requirements stipulated (eg. “do not physically assault your mother or your daughter”.

GF refuses, and chooses to sue me instead. I pay her a lesser amount (5,000 yuan) in the meantime, but I still don’t get to see FW at all. I tell GF that going forward I would only pay that amount in cash and directly into FW’s hands (so to guarantee I could see at least see her once a month), but that was also refused. Basically, GF could not risk letting FW see me again, for fear our relationship would be rebuilt once again.

In the meantime, I did the only thing I could do, which was to file for divorce (first in Hangzhou in June 2017, and then Hong Kong in September 2017 after the divorce petition was rejected by the Hangzhou court for lack of jurisdiction), in order to try to gain custody and at least visitation rights.

GF could have applied for ancillary relief by asking for child support/maintenance pending suit, just like I applied for interim access (to see FW) immediately, but she didn’t. Why not, if she thinks the court would agree that I should?

So I stopped paying her monthly after August 2017.

Should I continue to pay ransom money, especially now when I don’t get to see FW at all? Especially now when the brainwashing has gotten more and more severe, to the point that I was getting accused of sexual molestation of my own daughter?

Is there anyone out there who would pay what the kidnapper demanded in these circumstances? Why not instead ask GF why she refused to sign the new agreement? Why not ask GF to stop delaying the Hong Kong divorce court proceedings, so that it can quickly reach a judgement on everything relating to FW, including what I’m supposed to pay as child support? Like I said, she could apply for interim child support payments any time, and still can this very moment. Why won’t she? Because she knows that she would have a difficult time, given how she has violated court orders (eg. not letting me see FW despite the court orders, not showing up for hearings) and how the Child Psychologist report turned out.

Of course, GF now claims that FW did not want to see me, and that was because I was sexually molesting her. I’ll deal with the sexual molestation accusation separately, but let’s see if FW really didn’t want to see me. See, for example:

• Call recording of FW pleading with GF to let her see me (26 March 2017)


• Video of GF forcibly dragging FW back after GFM had arranged for me to pick up FW

Despite that, I was always willing to contribute to FW’s living expenses, just that I refused to put money directly into GF’s hands, as she would just use the money to sue me, hire private investigators etc. etc.

In 2019, GF pulls me into a Wechat group, which included FW. I was so happy to get to chat with her again, and despite her highly hostile and disrespectful attitude, I suggested that she unblock me on Wechat and I could then send her ‘red packets’ regularly. Maximum limit for red packets was 200 yuan, so I sent 188 yuan, intending to send her that amount every day at the very least if I could maintain contact with her via Wechat, but that was mocked as being too little, and I was blocked again after that. See screenshots here.

Later I also offered to pay for FW’s US boarding school fees (anything I could do to make sure FW could live away from GF), with no strings attached, but that too was rejected – see next accusation.

In 2020, I attempted to negotiate a settlement with GF, during which time I learned that FW was going to attend US boarding school later this year (2021). My proposal involved my paying for her entire boarding school fees (my father also agreed to help). The settlement negotiations failed, but I was so keen on FW leaving Hangzhou and starting an independent life overseas away from GF that I proposed that I would STILL pay for her school fees, without any strings attached – I didn’t even insist on having to see her! All I needed was confirmation that she was really going, and how much the fees were, and I would transfer the money to the school directly. But that was also rejected, because GF claims that I am only trying to sabotage FW, and that previously that’s what I did.

I proposed to have FW’s Godparents be the go-between so I didn’t have to know which school she was going to, but that too was rejected.

See correspondence trail here where I also address the absurdity of the allegations of sabotage.

Please see the Defence I submitted to court, along with all the supplementary evidence.

In a nutshell, GF never lent me any money. I only signed to say that I owe her 27 million because we had sold the flat for that amount, and the proceeds (about 15 million) was wired to me, and she later felt that she no longer had any sense of security.

The house had already been sold, and I never had to sign that agreement in the first place. The only reason I drafted that agreement for her was that otherwise, there would have been no peace in the house.

I know it will be hard for the vast majority of people to believe it. I feel that only people who have lived with or come across people with similar personality disorders will understand the pressure and torment you can be put under. If you’re living in the same house, you can forget about getting a good night’s sleep, for example.

In that respect, I’m glad that the past year has shown everyone more clearly what GF is capable of doing in order to get her way, and how she would turn your life completely upside down until and unless you give her what she wants. For example, even Z could not understand it completely until witnessing first hand the unrelenting pressure she gives you, from calling and sending you harassing messages non-stop every day in the middle of the night. Even the Hangzhou police have a difficult time dealing with her – she sat there for 4 hours, apparently, until they agreed to take action against me for legal bigamy, and even lodged an official report against another police station because they did not take the action against me that she insisted.

GF also often makes people around her sign things for her, and will not stop until they do. See for example this voice recording of her forcing FW to sign stuff, and the threats she made if she didn’t. In the call recording on 26 March 2017, GF also mentions that FW had already signed things for her, to which FW replied, “that’s cos you made me!” and “I should never have signed it in the first place”.

For more details, see the Defence I submitted.

This warrants its own page – see here.

First, please enjoy GF’s detailed recounting of a supposed event:

I think she deserves an award for story-telling and imagination!

I deal with this complete fabrication in Paragraphs 162-163 of my Affirmation in Reply. This allegation was first made in late 2013, after which I asked FW whether she had said that, and recorded the conversation – see transcript of the recording.

Yes, really, I have been accused of sleeping with my 70-year old mother-in-law! For example, you can see GF accusing me/us in:

• Video of GF, moments after dragging FW back into the flat


• GF in a Wechat group of residents/owners of our apartment complex


• GF’s Affirmation in Opposition:

This accusation first surfaced around March 2017, when things were extremely bad between GFM and GF, and GFM was determined to act as a witness for me against GF in my divorce proceedings, and had also reported GF to the police for physical and other abuses.

The only thing GF could think of to explain why her own mother would be on my side to testify against her, was that I was having an affair with her mother.

As extra ‘proof’, FW was also made to tell others that I had once made FW sleep by herself downstairs in the living room, and GFM had slept with me in the upstairs loft. When I asked FW about it, she said she would continue to say that, and when I asked her why, her reply was heart-breaking, “Look, because I’m screwed up!”.

I go into detail about this in Paragraphs 115-120 of my Affirmation in Reply.

NOTE: Now that GFM has been firmly back on GF’s side and helping her make more false accusations about me (see More about GFM), I no longer hear this allegation anymore.

What’s being accused now is that I had tricked/conned GFM into believing in me, and I had faked all her messages to me.

OK, just briefly, one by one:

“I bribed the 3 child psychologists etc.” – I get accused of bribing people whenever people don’t behave according to GF’s wishes or expectations, similar to how Z’s ex-husband is supposedly getting paid by me for not helping GF ‘expose’ Z and me. Regarding the psychologists, I’ll just point out that they were nominated by GF (on recommendation by her own lawyers) herself.

“I hit GF’s brother” – Never. What did happen was that I was about to forcibly take back my computer which I had let him use, because his ex had pleaded with me to help her, as he had been effectively using it to ‘terrorize’ her online via Facebook by fabricating lies in an attempt to shame her into submission to do what he wanted her to do – in ways very similar to how GF fabricates stuff online in order to carry out her agenda. BTW, it’s interesting to note that GF’s brother was clinically diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Anyway, in that attempt to take back the computer, there was some pushing and shoving as he stood in the way of the computer. No violence whatsoever (like hitting) was involved. I eventually warned him to stop harassing his ex otherwise I would come back and really take back the computer.

“I hit GF” – Never. Only times violence occurred were: 1. GF stormed into my room while I was asleep, angry over the fact that FW would be attending local Chinese school, and hit me in the face, after which I lied back down in bed and fended her off by pushing (not kicking!) her away with my feet, and 2. She had tried to grab my bag from the car, and I had pulled her away from the car, after which she fell to the ground.

“I wanted GF to have orgies with me” – Laughable. At most we might have discussed the concept of it many many years ago. Personally, I’m not even into such a thing.

“I’m a drug-addict” – Addict? Certainly not. But yes, I HAVE tried substances which are illegal in some countries, with my first time trying cannabis in Vancouver in late 2018 where it’s legal. Much more significantly, I went on an Ayahuasca retreat in Thailand in early 2019, which really helped me mentally and spiritually, especially in helping me process all the pain I was dealing with from having lost FW and having my life completely upended. I would go so as far as saying that it put an end to all the suicidal thoughts I had been having. Although the substances used there are technically also illegal in some countries, I would have no hesitation recommending it to anyone, especially spiritual seekers or those with problems that they wish to trying solving at an emotional/spiritual level. Having experienced the profound effects of that trip, I was extremely interested in continuing with this spiritual journey and expansion of consciousness.

Of course, I’ve never tried any in China, as many urine tests and hair tests have proven – I’ve been tested twice as standard procedure on each of the two occasions I was called by the police to give statements regarding sexual molestation (basically you get treated like a criminal), and another time when I found that GF was starting to accuse me of it, I voluntarily went to the police station the next day to do full drug testing (urine and hair).

Anyway, spiritual-seekers who are familiar with “sacred medicines” will know what I’m talking about above, but for others, I suggest reading more about why some of these supposed “drugs” are slowly getting legalized, and why there’s a push for them to be. Eg.:

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/lsd-psilocybin-psychedelics-legal-ballot-election-1079488/

https://www.downtownpublications.com/single-post/the-movement-to-relax-ban-on-psychedelic-drugs

—Rick Doblin, Ph.D., MAPS Founder and Executive Director

If anyone wants to equate the above with cocaine-snorting and heroine-injecting drug addicts, then I can’t help that.

And that's all, folks!

Here is a list of all Youtube videos that have been uploaded. Videos are all unlisted so you won't find them without these links. Some might not have been linked to.